The Curse
by Kiekoh
Summary: ***COMPLETE*** --Nurses find out the hard way about the curse-- Mixture of short stories all rolled into one.


A/N: My friend gave me this idea in a roundabout way. She hates M*A*S*H, though I don't see how, but she does. We were talking about how all the best guys are either married or gay. So I've been reading a lot of slash lately and I decided I wanted to write one, plus with Trapper and BJ married I thought, why the hell not, I'll make it into a (one shot/combination of short stories) story concerning all three of our favorite captains. My friend called this situation a curse, so that's where the name comes from. This is a not just one long story; it's a bunch of little ones, more info will be given at the beginning of each little sub- story.  
  
Disclaimer: *wistfully* one and only show of mine.*pouts* I don't own.darn it all to Hades.  
  
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((Right before Trapper leaves, and because Hawkeye isn't there, the first person he tells is his favorite nurse.))  
  
"I'm going home! I'm really going home!" Trapper yelled excitedly waving his traveling papers in front of a brown haired woman.  
  
"That's great." She said quietly as she was spun around by the waist.  
  
Trapper set her down with a confused look, "What's wrong? I thought you'd be happy."  
  
"The only reason you're telling me is because Hawkeye isn't here."  
  
"Not true, I would've done the same thing I'm doing now if he were here. Though, I'm not sure if I can lift him as easily." He said with a smile.  
  
"Really Trapper. I know you don't care about me."  
  
"I do, I swear on my traveling papers, I do."  
  
"You wouldn't say that in front of a priest would you?" she asked hopefully.  
  
"Uh.probably not again" he said nervously, "that's another thing I wanted to tell you before I left."  
  
"Don't tell me, your engaged to another women?"  
  
"No.more like the other bad disease most of us men have."  
  
She frowned as her eyes filled with tears; "You're ma, ma, married?"  
  
Trapper bit his bottom lip as he noticed her about to cry, "Don't cry, please don't cry."  
  
"How can I not!? You never told me you were married! Ya know I still would've gone on all those 'dates' with you. I don't care if you're married. But I had my hopes up ya know!? Why couldn't you have just told me in the first place!" she said as she turned around to leave, but Trapper grabbed her arm before she could run off.  
  
"Listen, I'm sorry, I love my wife and my daughters, I can't say I don't care about you too but I have a family to support." He said, guilt tinged his voice.  
  
"Don't pity me Captain. I'm just a Lieutenant, just some nurse. Don't worry about me, I'll go find an non-married guy!" she said jerking out of his grip and running off, not allowing him to see the tears running down her face.  
  
He sighed as he walked off to go pack his things.  
  
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((Right after 'Comrades In Arms"))  
  
"We've been best friends since we were little, that's the only reason she married me. Plus the fact is.she likes girls. That's why we decided to get married, a cover up for the both of us." BJ said with a smiled as he touched Hawkeye cheek lightly.  
  
"Why did you let me be with all those nurses then?" Hawkeye asked still a bit confused.  
  
"Because I didn't think you liked me. I thought you really liked them."  
  
"Not really, just like you with Peg, they're just a cover up for me." He said with a smile, "And it doesn't hurt either."  
  
BJ laughed as he leaned in for a quick kiss. The short kiss soon turned into a passionate make-out session. The two quickly lost track of time and the thought that BJ was due in Post-Op that afternoon. And unfortunately the nurse on duty with him was Major Houlihan.  
  
A shrill scream entered the thoughts of the two men and they sat bolt upright in the small cot they had been sharing. There stood an upset, shocked, and angry woman.  
  
"How? Why? When? What's going on here!" She screamed.  
  
"Margaret let me explain." Hawkeye said standing up with just his boxers on.  
  
"No, you don't need to, I understand, trust me." She said as she ran out the tent. Hawkeye sat down with a sigh. BJ wrapped his arms around the older man's shoulders and kissed his cheek lightly.  
  
"It'll be ok." BJ said with a nervous smile as Hawkeye laid his head on BJ's shoulder.  
  
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((Totally different situation, in this story BJ and Hawkeye do NOT like each other in that way. This takes place right before Radar leaves. He gets up the courage to tell someone he loves him or her, but at the same time, a nurse loves Radar.))  
  
"Um, I'm leaving." Radar said shyly.  
  
"Congratulations!" said the taller man as he grabbed the young boy in his embrace, "I wish I had your traveling papers."  
  
"I don't want to go with out telling you something sir." Radar said blushing profusely.  
  
"What is it? You want a nurse; I'll get you a nurse. A business woman, I can get you one of those too, both if ya want." Said a smiling Hawkeye Pierce.  
  
"No, I, uh, would rather have you," Radar said, hanging his head low.  
  
"Radar." Hawkeye said quietly as he placed his hand on the boy's shoulder, "I don't know why you think of me like this."  
  
"Sir, it's not like you think really. I mean, I uh, I," he gulped silently.  
  
"You don't like me as a brother anymore, I know that, I could see it in your eyes. It's the same look a nurse gets when she falls for me, then I have to leave and never talk to her again."  
  
"You won't quit talking to me will you sir?"  
  
"Of course not. I just want you to know that 'us' will never happen. I like women, hell, I love women, and there's nothing I can do to change it." Hawkeye said quietly.  
  
Radar nodded his head slightly, "I just wanted you to know I'll miss you most," he said turning around to walk out the door of the Swamp, but just before he walked out he added a last, "Sir."  
  
When Radar was throwing his bags on the jeep he turned around to see one of the nurses there.  
  
"Hey Radar, I just wanted to talk for a minute." Said the blond haired girl as she took the boy's arm and led him behind one of the buildings.  
  
"Wh, what is it?" Radar said stuttering.  
  
"I was wondering if after the war I could come visit you, or write you even before the war is over.' Said the equally nervous girl.  
  
"I um, I don't think you'll like to. I, uh, I like, I don't like girls." He said hastily.  
  
"You don't? I promise we don't have diseases." She said smiling.  
  
"No, not like that, I, I like men, boy, males." He said calmly.  
  
"You do? Oh, well." She frowned slightly while looking at her feet but looked up smiling; "I want to stay friends Radar. Just friends is all." She said.  
  
"Oh well, sure then, here." He pulled out a piece of paper and quickly scribbled down his address, "You can write and visit any time."  
  
"Thanks Radar, you're the best." She said and she gave him a big hug before walking off to the nurse's tent. Radar smiled and walked over to the jeep, jumping in.  
  
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((The conversation that got this whole thing started. C is my friend, K is me.))  
  
C: I had the worst luck today.  
  
K: How so? *Eating a chicken sandwich so not saying much*  
  
C: I bumped into the absolute cutest guy ever in the mall this morning.  
  
K: And? *Another bite*  
  
C: He's married.  
  
K: How do you know? *Sip of Dr. Pepper*  
  
C: His little boy comes running up and says *Imitates little boy voice* 'mommy says dat she found da perfec anniversary pweasent for you, but I not supposed to tell.'  
  
K: awwww *smiling*  
  
C: no awwww. When I bumped into another cute guy, his boyfriend walks over.  
  
K: oh, poor C.  
  
C: yea poor me. Is it just me or are all the cute guys married or gay.  
  
K: or jerks that you don't want anyway.  
  
C: exactly! *Pouts and finishes the rest of my drink* You should write about it.  
  
K: I think I might.  
  
C: Good, I wanna be in it.  
  
K: as long as you wanna be a nurse.  
  
C: NO! No M*A*S*H absolutely no.  
  
K: sorry have to, who ya wanna be with?  
  
C: Radar.  
  
K: Radar's gonna be gay.  
  
C: fine, it has to go along with the story.  
  
K: yep  
  
*Both laugh and finish lunch*  
  
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THE END! REVIEW PLEASE! THANX! 


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